NATURAL Hair story

My journey of going natural was actually not intentional, I didn't realize what I was doing at first. A little before my birthday in April 2012, I started watching tons of youtube videos about girls who were either transitioning or they were fully natural, they seemed so empowered and wonderful. Natural hair became an obsession to me. Being in the finding my self phase, I thought wow, going natural would be a great idea, I could stop hiding behind my gorgeous thick processed hair and start finding out who Kandice is under all that and the fact that I was never happy with my hair after leaving the salon, helped. So, I started off at the end of April with some braids, using my final exams as an excuse to my mother, because she wouldn't at all like the idea of me going natural (for the third time), and she would think i'm crazy about trying to find myself.

Anyway, she went away for the whole summer so I didn't have to constantly go to the salon and I was happy, I went through summer getting protective styles such as braids and sew ins while still stalking youtube for tips on going natural. I felt like I had a hobby, a hobby that could give me a new life. Somehow, someway, during that summer I started to change somethings about myself other than my hair, I started to listen to different music, eat healthier (not really) and I even started thinking more positively and I didn't feel pretentious one bit, I felt like ME. Then and there I decided this wasn't going to only be about my hair anymore, it was going to be about Kandice on a whole. I was going to love her for who she is, even if that was a confused young lady with crazy hair, I was going to give her my all and anything else she needed to make her happy and then in turn a healthier woman.

I got teased by many people about going natural, stereotyping me as "rasta" or making rude comments about me being crazy for changing, but I was happy and that's all that mattered. My mom on the other hand after coming back, has tried many times to get me to go to the salon, but I've refused and rushed immediately to get my braids done. Currently I have crochet braids in and I must say, they are my favorite protective style, my mom loves it and now after months of arguing has just left me alone to do whatever I want, i'm guessing she understands that its my hair and not hers? Either way, it doesn't matter, i'm going on my natural lifestyle journey by myself and i'm enjoying it.

Opening Statement?

I cry a lot, more often than the normal human being, but I am tired of crying and lying to people saying i'm crying because i'm happy or it makes me feel better. It sort of does make me feel a bit better letting my emotions out, but when I cry; I BAWL and i'm beginning to realize crying isn't helping my situation or making anything better, the only things that change after my terrible crying sessions is that (yes its that serious to be called a session) my eyes become basketballs, my head feels like its going to separate from my body and this eventually makes me want to cry because of the pain, its a never ending cycle BUT I plan to end it, right here, right now. 

So, the purpose of this blog is to let my feelings and emotions out in a healthier way and since i'm a self-proclaimed writer, I figured this would be a great idea! I've had a blog before that I created for the wrong reasons, but i'm back now, feeling pumped and ready to share, let it out and be happy! 

I'm Kandice Moncrieffe, a 19 year old marketing major at the University of the West Indies, you'll see me refer to myself as 'KandiiLeena' a lot, (see url) its my first name; Kandice and my middle name; Keleena, joint, clever? I know! I'm at that point in my life where i'm stuck on trying to find out who I am, why i'm on the godforsaken earth and what I want to do with myself in the future. I have an entrepreneurial mind I think, I've come up with two awesome ideas (so far) that I plan to eventually execute as soon as I get my mojo back, graduate from UWI, get my life back on track and get some money. Meanwhile, i'm interning at the best media company in Jamaica right now eMedia Interactive, getting experience in tv and online video production and journalism, I love it, I actually hope to work there in the future full time. In addition to that, I've recently taken up another job doing online marketing for a distributing company in Jamaica, where I manage their twitter, facebook, instagram and their tumblr pages, yes I know two jobs for a college student might seem like much, but I manage my time pretty well. So you see, i'm actually very confused as to which career path to take right now, I at first wanted to become the hottest media personality in Jamaica, I got over that when I auditioned twice for tv jobs and didn't get it, and the fact that I couldn't get into the media and communications school at UWI, demotivated me.Then, I got the job at eMedia, doing everything you could possibly do at a online media company, I shot videos, I did production assistant jobs, I wrote for many eZines and I felt like I was on top of the world. I really didn't think I could do anything else at UWI, so I settled for marketing, and I always felt like I would be a great brand ambassador/marketing manager, since i'm always overflowing with new ideas and concepts, so I found this online marketing internship and i'm riding the wave and looking at the future possibilities, while still looking for possibly some event planning gigs.  

Welcome to my blog and I do apologize for any depressing posts you might see but, I need to get a lot of things off my chest in order to be a better, healthier person and the journey begins here!